Thorfinn Rowle swears by crawfish

So they say you're troubled, boy
Just because you like to destroy
All the things that bring the idiots joy, well
( What's wrong with a little destruction? )

Thorfinn Rowle ( App summary, goals and storylines )

( Witch Weekly's Second Most Eligible Terrorist Bachelor )

[Stella]

ALL RIGHT. I'M HERE. I'M HERE.



WHAT THE DEVIL ARE THEY.


[Death Eaters]

THE HORCRUX COULD BE HERE. Or whatever it is. I'm here by the ocean and the clubs and there's whirlwinds of flame all over the place and the Borgin is in there somewhere and whatever it is I think it could possibly be what the Order could be searc


[below unwarded and public due to djinn on the attack]

YES A LITTLE HELP


WOULD BE GOOD.

Are we drinking already. Who is drinking already. Are we drinking already. I think we should drink already.

Wilkes, where is Wilkes.

I think we should start drinking already.

How do I stop bacon from spattering. Is that what it's called. Spattering. How do I get it to cook without spitting hot oil everywhere.



And I need headache potions.

Now.

So many twinkle lights.

Well. This Christmastime is not turning out to be the usual parade of fuckwittery that I've become accustomed to seeing it as.

[Death Eaters]

Where the devil did you find all this decent food, Rabastan. For fuck's sake. It's really brilliant. I hope it will keep until New Years because I see no other way to celebrate this fucking awful year being over than by eating a gift basket. Though I have eaten the crackers already. Well. I had to give Macduff something.

Alecto, Wilkes. What the devil should I get the both of you. I suppose the tree and the house don't count.

Also. Narcissa. What jewelry is the best to get for women. What would I be able to find around here.

[Stella]

Thank you for letting me visit. It was good to see you, and it's good to see the baby is doing well also. But I'm going to have to take off now. The break from everything was needed, so thank you. I will be in the area, though. I'm needed here on business. So if you or the baby need anything, let me know. I'll be around.

Again. Thank you. It was good to see you again.


[Death Eaters]

Narcissa. I think I found a decent house. It's big and it's far enough away from the city and everything else. I hate to stay somewhere muggle but we can fix that like we did in New Orleans. Will you be ready to leave soon. I can be in Cairo by this evening if I fly out now.
Also. I left a bag there. It has my monogram on it. It's in my corner of the parlor. Thank you. After you get here we can set the place up and get you rested and then make plans for those that can't fly out.


Everyone else. I am not flying everyone back and forth. Except maybe Alecto if she needs it.

Alecto. Are you all right. Do you need help getting to Morocco. Do you have my antlers or whatever the devil they are. Are they antlers if they belong to an animal other than a stag. Or are they horns. Is there a difference.

[/end wards]


Souvenirs. Or Christmas presents. At least something to keep busy with until New Year's.

[Stella]

You don't happen to still be in North Africa. By any chance. Do you.

Hope you're well still. Hope you found your decent tea you were looking for. If you don't mind, I was hoping that invitation was still extended to me. That is, if all the tea hasn't been drank. Though I may just want the company besides.


[Emmeline]

Are you still in Cairo.


[Death Eaters]

How long do you think it takes to fly to the other side of the continent. Six, seven hours. Maybe.
If it's twelve hours from Peru to New Orleans. Though that was with a passenger. Though I do have a dog with me.

Well. One way to find out for sure.

Alecto. Thank you for the ducks. They were a little thin but still good all the same.
Wilkes. If we can. Want to stop on over to wherever Stella is visiting now.

[added shortly after THIS - still warded to Death Eaters]

Alecto. Could you explain to Barty why baths are relaxing.

Well I know of one failsafe way to ward off existential crisis. Naps and bath se full English breakfast at hotels.


[Death Eaters]

Full English breakfast at the Hotel Le Meridien. Decent, too. I'm in a bloody good mood for the first time in months so don't you fucking ruin it, you sods. Really decent.

Any chance of going home until we know where to go next. Is the trace still up. Is the trace still up. There has to be somewhere better than Egypt. Can they do things in Israel or are they Muslim also. Israel's not far off. Is it. Why don't we go to Israel.

Or France. But I hate the French. So Israel first choice. I've voted. One vote for Israel.

[Death Eaters]

We didn't lose anyone. Did we. Nobody drunk left in a tomb where they probably deserve to be but that's beside the point. Nobody splinched or hexed or anything.

Alecto. Did you end up bringing the mummy back.

Wilkes. You owe me a belt and a new tie.

Barty. I think we need food after that experience.


[Emmeline]

So. How soon after an international incident and getting freed from a pyramid full of traitors and grabby corpses and Aurors bent on abuse of power is TOO soon to ask a bird if she wants to meet up to. I don't know. Catch up. Just so I'm clear.

[Private to Death Eaters]



Wilkes. WILKES.




Is there light coming from that room.


Alecto. Where are you. Where is your brother. Do you still have that mummy.
Amycus. Where are you. Are you with your sister.
Rabastan. The fuck did you get away to.
Dolohov. Find anything yet.
Narcissa. Do you remember where you came in from.


Where the devil is everyone else.


For fuck's sake. You should all stay in one place until someone can get us out of here.

Because there is light coming from this room and it's better than nothing. Now isn't it.

[Death Eaters]


ALECTO COME WITH ME




ALL OF YOU STAY AWAY FROM THE ROOM WITH THE MUMMY AND THE BOGGART SPIDER KELPIE KNICKERS WHATEVER THE DEVIL IT IS NOW



THE MUGGLE WITH THE GUN IS IN THE PYRAMID



THE MUGGLE WITH THE GUN. WHO SHOT WILKES AND I.
SO COME WITH ME AND GET THE DEVIL OUT OF HERE

[/end ward]

[accidental public ward below due to banging his head against a chamber ceiling]

[Death Eaters]

Travers is right. We need to get to the pyramids and find McKinnon and the photographer. Two failed wards can't be wrong and we need to get to them.


Does anyone still have their broom. If we can see it chances are the Ministry might be able to also. They like anti-disapparation charms.

We can catch them. I don't care how we get there. We just should. And soon.

[Death Eaters]



Wilkes. I think your cousin Emmeline wants to shag me. I'm fairly certain.

Why am I telling you this. Well. Make sure for me or something. But I'm about 96% sure on this. It's late and I have tea and I'm trying to stay awake with this diadem. Nothing's worked so far.

[ward fail for all written below due to tea-spill - the following is all public]



They say it's supposed to make you wiser but I've been wearing it for the past few hours and nothing so far. I feel no different. And I don't care if you lot are all laughing at the "princess crown." Someone has to do something. Some lost magical relic, my arse. This was probably a LOST diadem for a reason.

Unless someone else wants to wear it and see if it makes them wiser and smarter like the rumours say, anyway.

[Death Eaters]


Who is in possession of the Horcrux at the moment. I'm going to need to see the diadem right now. Enough of this waiting around and going into places crawling with Egyptians. I'm also going to need anyone with ideas on how to contact the part of the soul inside the diadem.

Dolohov. Wake up or come over or something. Bring food or drink. We may be here a while.

Alecto. You're one of the smarter ones here. We need ideas on how to reach Him in the diadem. Also I think The Airedale keeps looking around for you

Bellatrix. Your husband says he doesn't want you possessed again but you still may want in on this attempt to contact Him. And we could use your help. Well. I could use your help. I'm still in the parlor.



Anyone else. If you'd like to not keep up the risky plans of breaking and entering and potentially getting shot with muggle firearms and witnessing childbirth in a hospital AGAIN, I suggest you also lend a hand in this.

Meaning Wilkes. If we have to get someone possessed with the soul it might have to be you since Rodolphus says Bellatrix is off-limits.

[End ward]




What do Muslim countries do for All Hallows' Eve. If anything.

[Death Eaters]



Are you lot going shopping for supplies or not.

We should go sooner rather than later. The cats are driving me mental and they won't leave Macduff alone

[Death Eaters]



YOU LOT.

I THINK I KILLED ANOTHER AUROR.

I THINK I BLEW UP DEARBORN.


AND I'M KIND OF DIZZY AND THE LEFT SIDE OF MY BODY FEELS NUMB.


SO WHO NEEDS WHAT WHERE. IS NARCISSA OUT OF HERE.

[Private to Dolohov]

Dolohov. I want you to teach me how to duel better.

[Private to Zylphia]

Zylphia. Can you make me a sandwich or something.

[Private to Alecto]

Alecto. Can you check to see if my nose is broken. I don't think it is. But I want to be sure.

[Private to Melpomene]

Melpomene. There's something Aunt Annelise always told me that I think is important for you to know also. She always used to tell me "only boring people are bored." Never admit to being bored. Even if you are bored. It's important that you know that.

If you need anything let me know. Or Zylphia.

[Death Eaters - written shortly after THIS]


You can blame Amycus for this. And Wilkes. And Narcissa for that matter.

I'LL SHOW YOU ALL HOW PIE-SHAPED I AM.

YOU'RE WELCOME.